


Before Finding His Love

by BriannaNicole



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Before Rick, Daryl - Freeform, Other, Poetry, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 20:31:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6093190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BriannaNicole/pseuds/BriannaNicole
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daryls thoughts on love before meeting Rick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Before Finding His Love

I don't know a whole lot about alotta things  
Know even less about love  
But I'm sure it dont look like shame  
I'm sure it dont suffocate like dark closets,skeletons fallin out  
Scaring you to death when all you wanted was that one good memory  
Rummaging through tryin not to cry  
Struggling not to hate yourself for not being good enough  
I don't think love is supposed to paint lines on your skin  
The ones that make summers hard, trying to hide your misery under jacket sleeves  
And everyone's lookin at ya crazy, wondering why you'd rather sweat than be comfortable  
I'm pretty sure love aint supposed to hang you up by the neck, wring you dry  
Take all the spirit from you, like ya never was a person  
Take all the fight from you, make you wanna hide under the carpet of your bedroom in fear someone will find you breathin and correct it  
Love isn't supposed to be out to get you  
Isn't supposed to laugh at you  
Never thought I was a whore til I emerged from under him smelling like crown and sin  
Wanted to throw him up but like it or not hes a part of my body  
Ain't no way I can live with this I thought as I washed us off the sheets, but I am  
I know that wasn't love, hurt too much  
Love is supposed to be gentle, firm  
Smooth like water when it runs over you, sweeps you away like it's stealing ya  
Don't even have to be nighttime just the right time  
To be taken away into the heaven of someone else's arms, only If they love you or at least wanna try  
I haven't even had affection  
I've had groping and torn clothes  
Ruttin and foul language  
Trying to outdo porn stars, like I was even that special  
At least the people they're with can fake it, make it look good  
Me, I got demons crawling in and outta me  
Taking my breath away, felt like I was never gonna get it back  
I got apologies for leaving me alone  
Apologies for stringing me along  
Averted eyes, paragraphs of texts explaining in vivid detail exactly what was wrong with me  
Why they couldn't love me  
I'm sure love dont destroy the way you look in the mirror, doesn't make you cringe  
Wanna dig yourself into the ground, never come back  
I'm sure it dont rob the peace in you  
I'm almost positive it makes you laugh  
Never laid in bed with someone before and truly felt at ease  
Always felt like they were clawin their way outta the covers, couldn't wait for me to fall asleep  
They all tied me to the bed, made sure they got away  
Like I was contagious, not fit to be around  
They set my dreams aflame, ruined me till I couldn't recognize myself no more  
Last time I fell in love was like takin a beatin', fighting a war  
Black and blue, rotted by the time I gave up  
Wasn't worth the tears no more, trying to soak it all up with words  
Trying to carve hope outta my blood  
I don't know alot about most things  
But I've learned with all the times I've fucked up  
Hidin it from the world, ain't no one's business  
Till it comes oozin out, everyone wants to know why I keep dying  
Wants to know how I'm alive come morning  
Haven't taken the time to love myself is all  
Gave that all away trying to be everything to people who thought I was nothin  
I'm trying to figure out what love is really suposed to be like  
Beginning to wonder if I'll ever feel it

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for the length, got carried away.


End file.
